Who am I? Who are you?
We are attached to things or people around us, which and who are what define who we are. We're afraid that we forget who we are so we keep on grasping things or people around us. Think about how you introduce yourself to people:"I am Patrick." Some people define themselves with their names, because their names reveals certain stories (and thus meanings) in their lives. Those are either joyful stories they treasure or painful memories they couldn't get rid of. It further strengthen their life narratives. So why do people change their names?
"I am a man." or "I am a woman." Some people define themselves according to their sex, (note that in some forms that we need to fill in, people begin to use gender (性向) instead of sex (性別) -- you know why.) because man and woman "are supposed to" act and behave differently. Do you agree?
"I am a man. I'm not a kid anymore!" Some people define themselves according to their age, because every age group "is supposed to" do different things, and belonging to certain age group entitles or limit you from doing certain things. And in our community there are certain age groups which got bigger control over the others. Guess which?
"I am a designer.", "I am an artist." or "I am a writer." We define ourselves according to our profession, because either the profession reflects certain social class we belong, or reflects our accomplishment or how much we earn. If we are not, we'll try to cover it with some terms which sounds better, or we wouldn't introduce ourselves in this way, and use something else to define ourselves. True?
"I am a Macintosh enthusiast.", "I am a celloist.", "I am a tough negotiator." or "I am Miss Hong Kong." We define ourselves according to things which we're good at, because it reflects our taste and it gives us some sense of significance of ourselves. The more we get the significance, the harder we'll study or practice into it. It is something to claim victory over someone who is actually more powerful than us ("My boss is a dumb, he just uses Wintel PC." or "These kids only know Twins and Kenny. They'll never be interested in Bach or Tchaikovsky."). How about you?
"I am a Chinese." or "I am a Hongkonger." We define ourselves according to our ethnical standing. We identify ourselves to a certain group of people whom we don't actually know (most of them we don't even know their names or never met them before! (Anderson, 1983)) but feel very connected because we buy in the same culture as theirs, or we found our so-called root among them. What does it mean to you by being a Chinese or a Hongkonger?
"I am the husband of Patricia.", "I am the son of Mr Chan.", "I am a student of Paul Rand." or "I am a loyal fan of Twins." We define ourselves according to our relation with other people, most probably because these people means a lot to us. They may be someone we're proud of. Who are you attached to? What if these people disappoint you one day?
"I am a father of 2 kids." We define ourselves according to our role in the family, most probably because we enjoy very much our family life. But on the dark side, this role gives us pride too -- we tend to introduce ourselves like this when we are enjoying the dominant role and we have authority over other family members. If other members in the family turn hostile or rebellious against us, we'll try to hide our family conditions before other people. Does your family members make you proud?
"I am an environmentalist." or "I am an anti-terrorist." We define ourselves according to our discontent about our surroundings. So badly we hope that we can contribute something to make our surroundings nearer to what we want it to be. What is your discontent?
"I am a Christian." We define ourselves according to our belief, our faith or religion. It represents something we're heading for and striving to be. This is our ideal self, although we're not up to the standard yet. Are you ready to go totally committed to it?
Anderson, Benedict (1983). Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism. London and New York: Verso.
posted by ablogaday @ 8/01/2005 10:39:00 pm
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